This past weekend, I attended a Chinese American funeral service at a funeral home in the White Oak / Adelphi area of Silver Spring.
The deceased was a 50-year-old father of 2, who'd died of stomach cancer. He'd been diagnosed back in May, and underwent the knife and chemo, but I guess the cancer was too far along.
I hardly knew him, and had heard about his condition, but was not aware that he had such limited time left to live.
The room for the service was overflowing, and I coudn't get near the doorway when I arrived. An attendee who sat in the back told me, afterwards, that probably 300 folks had turned up. (I wonder how many would turn up at my funeral. A handful?)
I got there late, and waited in line to sign the attendee book. After I signed, I was offered a piece of butterscotch candy. I decided to take it and put it in my pocket. (Wasn't sure what it was for.)
Later I spoke to a brother-in-law of the deceased. He said that the event had been produced by the deceased's siblings and involved customs which he was not familiar with.
You see, the deceased's side of the family is Cantonese (southern Chinese, probably from the Toi San area of the Guangdung province), while the other side of the family had old country origins from elsewhere (Wuhan & Fukien).
I mentioned the candy curiousity, later, to a friend of Toi San descent. He affirmed the custom (for local Cantonese, anyhow) of providing funeral guests lozenges that were either butterscotch or peppermint in flavor. He couldn't explain why (which was slightly disappointing, in that he always gives you too much information -- and here was the one time that I really wanted to know the background on this custom!). He could only say that an aunt had told him that was the custom.
I wonder what kind of candy I would want for my funeral. (Certainly not butterscotch nor peppermint lozenges! That seems a bit too quaint. I'd want something more exciting on the tongue.)